A Low Point

Written at a low point with no care for form or rhyme – this is a raw reflection as I find myself worn out, longing, confused, and broken. Sin grips, meaning eludes, and I just need You, Lord!

It’s all too much!

What do I do?

Time is given,

Time is wasted.

No peace,

No direction.

Just countless lists-

To dos and must dos.

Dreams that come,

Dreams that go,

Dreams that are put to death.

Kill it all, Lord!

Everything that keeps me from You.

Let me be killing sin,

Which so often kills me.

I feel smarter, yet more foolish –

Knowledge, disciplines, rhythms, habits.

Is this what life is? Is this all life is?

The simple does not satisfy,

The complex seems too difficult.

I am not right with You, my three,

Or even, with me.

Everything seems doable,

Nothing seems easy –

By easy I mean natural…

I can work with my hands,

I can work with my mind,

But nothing endures,

Nothing satisfies.

Talents given,

Talents wasted.

I feel I’ve been unfaithful –

Over little and much.

I am the wicked and slothful servant.

I feel I have only buried what you have given.

And now I feel worthless.

Take it all, Lord –

Everything that does not draw me to You.

The joys of this world are passing away.

I want Your holy contentment.

My sins are smokescreens –

Lust and Materialism –

Things I have grown to hate still I use,

Derelictions of my duties.

When will it stop, Lord? Is it career? Is it place? Or is it just me?

Is this my portion? Will only death break the cycle? Or do you have something for me? Can these chains break? These wounds heal? This longing find fulfillment? I pray it is so.

I pray for your guidance.

I long for release…

But I am tired.

I feel I can’t try anymore.

I need You now, Lord!

Copyright © 2023 by Travis Teague